How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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