Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
