all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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