I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
