I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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