that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize