I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
