I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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