i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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