my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
