My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
