If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
