your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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