Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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