About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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