Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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