But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
