i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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