Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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