He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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