3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
