You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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