Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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