I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
