I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
