'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
