just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
