1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
