Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.

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  (857): Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time. http://tfl.nu/rsq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1414) Bad night (460)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea

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  (978): I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea http://tfl.nu/kyal
  Replies (28) Good night (3610) Bad night (1261)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"

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  (253): My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair" http://tfl.nu/zzcb
  Replies (209) Good night (1272) Bad night (18212)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

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  (412): you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it http://tfl.nu/8zt4
  Replies (15) Good night (7736) Bad night (1145)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom

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  (608): She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom http://tfl.nu/qu7d
  Replies (17) Good night (1035) Bad night (3689)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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  (703): She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all. http://tfl.nu/qt2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5069) Bad night (1008)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..

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  (304): she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously.. http://tfl.nu/exbf
  Replies (24) Good night (1465) Bad night (6641)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.

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  (440): Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet. http://tfl.nu/2c2c
  Replies (10) Good night (3454) Bad night (1028)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.

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  (864): We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use. http://tfl.nu/kk0h
  Replies (13) Good night (6811) Bad night (954)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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  (248): I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is http://tfl.nu/r4l9
  Replies (9) Good night (4323) Bad night (784)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.

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  (208): Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos. http://tfl.nu/080u
  Replies (7) Good night (2613) Bad night (742)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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  (503): Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow. http://tfl.nu/26gh
  Replies (10) Good night (1711) Bad night (626)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

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  (+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (419)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year

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  (+61): My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year http://tfl.nu/vd1g
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (297)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend

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  (301): I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ci1n
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (245)

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