Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.

(1-865): View more from Tennessee

i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.

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(865): mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml. (1-865): i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi. http://tfl.nu/9era

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(843): View more from South Carolina

She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.

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(843): She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that. http://tfl.nu/vu87

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(510): View more from California

note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.

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(510): note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/6g44

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(574): View more from Indiana

im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven

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(574): im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven http://tfl.nu/dx1t

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(+75): View more from

It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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(+75): It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more http://tfl.nu/60s4

Replies (11) Good night (616) Bad night (2026)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.

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(704): Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/6wvk

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(903): View more from Texas

I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

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(903): I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up. http://tfl.nu/rp3b

Replies (9) Good night (2213) Bad night (968)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

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(908): HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k http://tfl.nu/jlb6

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag

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(785): I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag http://tfl.nu/283w

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(310): View more from California

That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

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(310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn

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(914): View more from New York

My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?

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(914): My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis? http://tfl.nu/29es

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(217): View more from Illinois

Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.

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(217): Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not. http://tfl.nu/3f1l

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(330): View more from Ohio

He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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(330): He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed http://tfl.nu/pn7a

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(719): View more from Colorado

There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra

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(719): There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra http://tfl.nu/4qki

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(281): View more from Texas

I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.

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(281): I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed. http://tfl.nu/u1zj

Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt

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