Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome http://tfl.nu/g749
  Replies (19) Good night (757) Bad night (3153)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Wait, how do girls masturbate?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

  (925): View more from California

  ..how does it fit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Wait, how do girls masturbate? (1-925): I dunno we use shower heads I guess. (925): ..how does it fit? http://tfl.nu/ktf5
  Replies (85) Good night (2231) Bad night (5940)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry http://tfl.nu/jhtm
  Replies (12) Good night (1374) Bad night (5796)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now http://tfl.nu/pjjq
  Replies (23) Good night (3918) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you http://tfl.nu/blf7
  Replies (38) Good night (10066) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn
  Replies (7) Good night (1502) Bad night (2386)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number? http://tfl.nu/y363
  Replies (14) Good night (1384) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet http://tfl.nu/m2pn
  Replies (3) Good night (1479) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt. http://tfl.nu/2b1c
  Replies (7) Good night (840) Bad night (1997)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say? http://tfl.nu/q9jp
  Replies (8) Good night (773) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more. http://tfl.nu/8b5s
  Replies (8) Good night (1176) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single http://tfl.nu/27nu
  Replies (3) Good night (1251) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/gexm
  Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well. http://tfl.nu/3wj0
  Replies (3) Good night (1068) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later? http://tfl.nu/klxq
  Replies (6) Good night (947) Bad night (313)

Randomize