If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight