Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize