it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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