I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
