That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
