Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
