she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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