Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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