Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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