I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
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I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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