i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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