we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
