Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
