She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
