I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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