girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
