I hope mine doesn't look like that
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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