Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize