I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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