You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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