operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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