How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
