So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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