my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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