The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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