He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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