WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize