I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
