3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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