does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
